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Callista Maris

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Rage consumed [May. 23rd, 2012|03:51 am]
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[Current Location |laptop]
[Current Mood |embarrassedembarrassed]
[Current Music |the steady rhythm of the annoying ceiling fan]

Period's over, got more meds, and it turns out the dog had kidney stones which were causing the erratic behavior...she is now recovering from surgery.

See, this is why I rage HERE where only Joan and Kathleen and a few others can actually see it, people who won't completely flip out on me when I do something stupid.

Thank you girls for your responses. :)
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RAAAAAAGE [May. 18th, 2012|11:52 pm]
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[Current Location |laptop]
[Current Mood |enragedenraged]
[Current Music |ONLY THE SOUND OF MY RAGE]

I need somewhere to vent that isn't watched by every single person I know cos I am so filled with fury right now. Worst part is, none of it is important fury. It's just one-week-off-meds + first-day-of-period fury.

Yeah, I ran out of anti-depressants last week and due to scheduling issues, I won't be able to renew my prescription until next week. Add to that my period has started and I have been a bit of a powder keg.

So what set me off. FUCKING DOG. Yeah, that's right, we have a dog right now. It's not my dog, or my fiance's dog, it's the new roommate's dog. She's a really good friend and this wasn't her fault at all. Her father died so she got stuck taking in his dog.

Now, I like animals, I really do, but this dog is a bitch. She wines and cries for attention all day and I have MUCH better things to do than entertain someone else's dog right now. If she doesn't get entertained by someone, she pisses all over the kitchen and living room floors.

This is the WRONG fucking time for me to have to be dealing with this. Not just the lack of meds and period but I'm graduating next weekend from RIT and my parents are coming into town. This house is a fucking disaster area that will probably take the entire week to clean and no one wants to lift a fucking finger. I'm just going to have to keep my parents out of this house at all costs.

and fuck you Casey for coming in and rubbing my back and making me feel better, I WANT TO RAGE DAMNITTTTTTTTTT
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Will the stupidity never end? [Apr. 13th, 2011|06:49 pm]
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[Current Location |Language Lab]
[Current Mood |aggravatedaggravated]
[Current Music |Two Steps From Hell (ironically enough)]

I'm feeling particularly grumpy today so take this post with that grain of salt, but I am so freaking goddamn bloody tired of religious fanatics, particularly the unique brand of Christian idiots this country seems to produce. Day by day, year by year, the number of fanatical Christians in this country rises steadily and I feel like I'm slowly being surrounded by a flood with no way to escape the tide of ignorance.

I have found a VERY good blog post by an atheist who captures my views exactly. To summarize, this writer states that Christians are not stupid, they are irrational. They may be completely rational and intelligent in all other aspects of life, but when it comes to religion their rationality shuts off and the sheep-brain temporarily takes over.

Now, I want to make something very clear. I do not consider myself either an atheist or anti-Christian, nor do I believe that I am one of the most intelligent people in the world. Far from. Neither do I claim to not have my own type of "sheep-brain" that sometimes kills my rationality temporarily. I've been on anti-depressants for 11 years for frak's sake, so no, I am not 100% rational. I'm not sure anyone in fact can be.

So what am I talking about? Something that irritates me to no end and in fact often triggers my irrational (i.e. angry, frustrated) responses to the world.

It's not that Christians can't argue properly or think properly or that they are not capable of basing their beliefs on fact. In fact, many of them are VERY good at arguing and logical debate based on facts, some simply because they have to defend themselves so often.

What I can't stand is the absolute insistence of Christians on using the Bible as the SOURCE OF THOSE FACTS. THIS is where the fallacy lies. THIS is the flaw in the logic. THIS is what destroys their rationality. This idea that the Bible is fact, and that all Christian logic and rationality stems from it, is what is utterly fucking goddamn bloody STUPID.

On one level it makes sense. If you are talking about Shakespeare, it is better to include his works as a source of argument than only using what someone else said about him.

The mistake here is that The Bible is supposedly the source of EVERYTHING. ALL of life, birth, death, morals, etc. can be found somewhere in the Bible and it applies to EVERYTHING. This is like saying Shakespeare's histories are perfectly accurate versions of history or that Romeo & Juliet is a perfect model of how modern relationships between teenagers should be. You wouldn't say this, you know better.

Shakespeare wrote for his time, his audience. We poor translators have to adapt his stories to fit our time in order for them to be understandable and appropriate. This is exactly what happened to the Bible. It has changed hands, cultures, and languages, so many times that while the essence of the stories may be the same, or close to, the cultural nuances have been completely lost.

Perhaps this is a good time to mention that I am a language person. I can't call myself a linguist since I have not yet graduated from my program, but I have a pretty fair amount of knowledge about language. The argument from Christians that gets me every single time is how it doesn't matter that the Bible was written in Aramaic, Hebrew, Greek, Latin, etc, the Bible is still, even now, in modern English, SOMEHOW the divine word of God, solid and trustworthy enough to use as fact. This argument can ONLY possibly come from people who have never studied non-western languages or from people who are, as described above, completely irrational when it comes to religion.

Now, some of you might say, what difference is there between using one word or the other in a passage? What difference is there between two words that, in modern English, mean essentially the same thing? This again, can only come from ignorance of language. Languages are subtle, fluid things. Just think about how much modern English has changed in just the last 50 years alone. How short a time it has been since "gay" meant something other than "homosexual," for example. The Bible was written THOUSANDS of years ago. Only a complete fool would think that the languages of the Bible did not change immensely during that time, that EVERY translation was perfect, that EVERY scribe was infallible in their copying of the text. THIS is the irrationality that burns my tolerance away.

One of the first things you learn when learning a foreign language is that language is ENTIRELY dependent on the culture that created it. Even closely related languages like Spanish and Italian are still massively different. One word can change the meaning of an entire sentence. One sentence can change the meaning of an entire passage. One passage can change the meaning of an entire book. And I'm speaking of things written at the same time NEVER MIND things traveling through the ages, changing cultures and languages over hundreds of years. The Hebrew culture was not the same as the Aramaic culture, the Greek culture was not the same as the Roman culture, at any time in their histories. They share many similarities but there are fundamental differences that CANNOT be ignored. Nor are they in any way similar to modern cultures.

On top of that is the cultural divide. So many Christian songs are about the River Jordan and Bethlehem and other such Biblical places. These places have no meaning to us! They are places far, far away that most of us have never seen and will never see. But the writers of the Bible knew these places well and thus why they spoke of them. Why would you sing emotionally about life in Detroit if you have always lived in Houston? Do you honestly believe you have any concept of Detroit life from your Houston home, to say nothing of life 4,000 years ago and half-way across the world? Why do you believe this has ANY relevance WHATSOEVER to modern life? That's why you adapt it, you say. Create a modern Christianity. Well, when you adapt it, you change it and it's no longer the Christianity that's in the Bible, it is something else entirely. Why do you not get that?

I have not myself had much opportunity to study the languages of the Bible in depth, nor do I really care to without good reason, but I do know this. There is more than enough evidence of the multiple changes, additions, and omissions made to the Bible for the modern versions to be extremely suspect and not worthy of basing entire logical arguments on.

So, I will put this challenge on those of you who disagree with me. Do some research, REAL, HONEST, IN-DEPTH research into the history and evolution of the Bible and the history of the cultures and languages that used it. Find some bits of the Aramaic. Read the "lost gospels" written by Greeks that were not included in the Bible. Put your irrationality aside for one bloody moment and THINK. Is this book, in any form, really so perfect and infallible that it be trusted as the source of rock-hard fact? Until the answer is unanimously 'no' among you all, you will continue to be seen as ignorant and irrational by the majority of non-Christians in this world.
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Been a while [Mar. 28th, 2011|10:49 am]
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[Current Location |RIT TLT Center]
[Current Mood |workingworking]
[Current Music |piano students practicing down the hall]

Posting from my borrowed laptop during my Language Technology class. Just did my presentation, now supposed to be listening to another group talking about how LiveJournal blog posts are analyzed for emotional content by computerized affective sensing systems. Neat stuff. Gave me a reason to log in again.
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Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage [Feb. 3rd, 2010|07:17 pm]

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities

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Two documentaries EVERYONE should see [Nov. 10th, 2009|12:52 am]
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[Current Location |Home computer]
[Current Mood |distresseddistressed]
[Current Music |none]

For a long time, I've thought the world was in serious trouble. Then I saw the following documentaries and other similar films and I realized that I knew nothing at all...

I'm currently taking a Global Studies class and we have watched several movies including ones called "Blue Gold: World Water Wars" and "Food, Inc." These are incredibly enlightening films and I urge everyone to find a way to see them. After seeing these films, I left the classroom literally, physically sick to my stomach and almost shaking with rage and indignation.

So what are they about? In plain English? We're fucked. Not just middle class white folk, not just Americans, not just "Westerners", ALL of us. Everyone on the planet is fucked. We're poisoning our water, our food, and our air and thus ultimately poisoning ourselves at such alarming rates that within 50 years civilization as we know it will likely no longer exist.

Yeah, I know, so many people spout all this doom and gloom nonsense, end of the world, World War 3 is coming, global warming will kill us all, yada yada yada.

But the facts don't lie folks.

As one of my idols, John Adams, once said: "Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence."

The facts are that our water is so heavily polluted and poisoned and we are running through our supply of fresh water SO fast that at this rate we will run out of usable water within 50 years....50 YEARS folks. The poisoning of water has also poisoned our food that is grown with that water and on top of that the food industry commits its own set of disgusting absurdities that have exponentially increased the danger. We are killing ourselves daily with every drink, every bite.

These aren't guesses or predictions or models based on possibilities, this is reality. The Western World is so incredibly skilled at turning a blind eye to the truth. Corporations and governments hold such incredible wealth and power they can distort the facts and hide the truth with incredible precision. Those that know the truth are bought, pressured, threatened, even killed.

Sounds like Nazi-era overhyping bullcrap doesn't it? That shit doesn't really happen in this country right? I wish I could still believe that. I wish I could say nice things about the governments and corporations that control almost every aspect of my daily life, but the fact is, I can't and I won't.

It's painful, it's embarrassing, it's depressing, it's sickening, it's horrifying, and it's definitely NOT what you want to know about with all of the problems you have already with money and work and school and kids and bad drivers and whatever else.

But if we continue to do this, to ignore the horrifying truths being hidden from us, when the bottom falls through (and it will), we will all be caught unaware and God help us then.

I don't care what you do about this, different people have different abilities and capabilities, but WE MUST DO SOMETHING. The worst thing we can do is continue to ignore the problems until its too late. And one day it will be too late folks.

God help us all.
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Fantastic article on homosexuality and the state of modern religion [Mar. 14th, 2009|12:28 pm]
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[Current Location |Home computer]
[Current Mood |tiredtired]
[Current Music |Coming Undone - Korn]

Gays as the new religious bogeymen
The Jerusalem Post
Nov 17, 2008 21:56
By SHMULEY BOTEACH

Opponents of President Bush chart the erosion of his presidency to the war in Iraq, its initial failure to adequately address the Katrina devastation, and the breakdown of the American banking system. All of this may be so, but it is equally likely that the outgoing president did much good for which he is given little credit. Be that as it may, I identify President Bush's going off message to another event entirely.

In the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks, the president's famous reaction was to encourage the country to go on a shopping spree. "Get down to Disney World in Florida," he urged just over two weeks after 9/11. "Take your families and enjoy life, the way we want it to be enjoyed." There are times when a great nation awakens from a materialistic slumber and experiences an urge for spiritually and togetherness. And those are the wrong times to turn their hearts back to shopping malls and the impulse purchase.

Few of us living in the United States can believe the extent of the financial meltdown in our country. I have consistently maintained that it is devastation born of a spiritual crisis. For too long we Americans have tried to plug the gaping holes at our center with fancier clothing, bigger homes and the latest gadgets. We have thought that shopping was an acceptable alternative for a true spiritual calling. This failure to awaken the nation to a higher spiritual purpose is in turn a failure of religion itself.

All across our nation, religion is ridiculed and on the retreat. The 80 million born-again Christians who had such a pronounced role in Bush's two victories were impotent in the last election. Bill Maher and a host of other atheists make a financial killing by portraying religious people as knuckle-dragging Neanderthals who swallow faith uncritically and send their money to charlatan televangelists who fly around in their gas-guzzling G5s.

Indeed, great defenders of the faith would be forgiven if they were to conclude that in America, religion is losing its focus as well as its rational dimension.

TAKE THE American religious obsession with homosexuals. Last week, This World: The Jewish Values Network, which I founded, hosted a debate between a leading evangelical scholar and myself on whether Judaism and Christianity are religions of peace. My opponent, a man of great learning and even greater decency, made it clear that in stating "Love your enemies," Jesus included Osama bin Laden. Yet, when it came to gay men who want to get married, he seemed to concur that were this to happen the whole of American society would begin to unweave. Indeed, I have heard some of my evangelical brethren make it sound as if gays were a greater danger to America than terrorists.

I will not get into the arguments for and against gay marriage in this column. What I will say is that religion in America has made homosexuality into a false bogeyman, which has seriously distracted religion from giving real values to an increasingly valueless society. Is this really what religious values in America has come to, opposition to gay marriage?

What do you think would do more to save heterosexual marriage in America? Making sure gays can't get hitched, or making marital counseling among heterosexual couples tax-deductible so that couples can afford the help they need? What should religion be devoting its energy to? Opposing gay marriage in California, or supporting an effective national campaign for school vouchers so that parents can afford to send their children to schools that teach religious values like male respect for women and the sanctity of a loving relationship?

I HAVE devoted my entire life to saving marriage. I have counseled thousands of couples in crisis. I have authored 20 books on spirituality and relationships. Never once have I believed that by opposing homosexuality I was bringing a husband and wife closer together. Rather, by seeking to increase the desire between husband and wife and by fostering true emotional intimacy between them, I was working to ensure that fewer American children would end up like me, the product of a broken home. Homosexuality is nothing but a distraction.

America has serious social problems. Fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. Forty million married Americans are in platonic marriages. One out of three American women is on an anti-depressant. Innumerable men are deeply into pornography. Our teenagers have unacceptably high rates of sexuality and pregnancy. And yet, I cannot name a single religious initiative that appeared on a single ballot to combat any of these problems, save for Proposition 8 in California that sought to ban gay marriage.

Let's be honest. Gays don't have to kill off heterosexual marriage. We straight people have done a fine job already.

WHAT RELIGION suffers from, not just in our time but for all time, is its dualistic impulse. Simply stated, religion seems to need enemies. Many religious people thrive on an "us and them" mentality. The Godly and the godless. The righteous and the sinful. The forces of light battling the forces of darkness.

But Judaism's vision of a religious future is monist, one in which all peoples will come together to create a just and compassionate society. The prophet Isaiah said that in the future, "I shall bring them to my holy mountain, and I shall make them joyous in my Home...for My Temple shall be called a House of Prayer for all peoples."

The future of religion in America and abroad is one in which religion finds the good in others even as it maintains its standards and morals. Pastors may oppose gay marriage. But given the limited resources available to religion and the social rot that is all around us, can we not dedicate those resources to ends that unite and inspire instead of divide and alienate?

My plan to save the American family does not involve fighting any group, but rather bequeathing the Jewish Sabbath as a gift all the American people.

I propose that we "Turn Friday Night into Family Night" throughout the nation, with millions of families committing to having dinner with their children with the TV and cell phone off, with guests invited so that hospitality is practiced, with children being heard by their parents with the noise of the world filtered out, and with husbands and wives focusing on each other rather than the myriad actors that invade their home through television.

An ancient Jewish legend says that when the whole world keeps just one Sabbath, the Messiah will come. For our time perhaps this means that when religion chooses to give the world something that unites rather than divides, redemption will finally come.
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Rochester Disturbed concert videos!! [Mar. 13th, 2009|02:30 pm]
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[Current Location |Home computer]
[Current Mood |soresore]
[Current Music |Disturbed - Guarded]

Finally some awesome folks posted some great videos of the Rochester Disturbed concert I went to! I was on the rail just left of center between the middle mic and John Moyer's mic but I'm so damn short, you can't really see me in any of these, at least not clear enough to know that it's me. :(

I put the best ones into a playlist in order of the setlist: http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=0FFCBFEB3EBEA9C2
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Going to see Disturbed (again) :D [Mar. 9th, 2009|12:36 pm]
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[Current Location |RIT OCASA lab]
[Current Mood |excitedexcited]
[Current Music |The Night - Disturbed]

Alright folks, the Rochester Disturbed show was fucking awesome but I got such short notice on it, I didn't have time to plan things out with people! This time, I've got advanced warning so let's see if we can't plan shit!

I am going to the Glens Falls, NY show on Monday April 27th. My plan is to either leave the night before and spend Sunday night in Glens Falls so we can get up early and get a good spot in line, or leave from Rochester very early Monday morning and stay over Monday night. I'm hoping to not have to spend two nights there to reduce costs, but with enough people sharing in the expenses it might make it affordable.

I've already got my tickets and am planning on going even if it means going alone. If anyone wants to join me, get your tickets here, and let me know!
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What Do Your Initials Say About You? [Mar. 8th, 2009|10:01 pm]
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[Current Mood |hungryhungry]
[Current Music |Enough - Disturbed]

You Are Deep and Insightful
When You Are Comfortable:

You are very perceptive. You can see things from all sides. You don't allow your life or mind to be cluttered.
People see you as spiritual and charismatic. You have interesting and unexpected insights. You advice is highly valued.

When You Are At Your Best:

You are philosophical and opinionated. You have quite a few pet causes, and you're always adopting a new one.
People see you as clever and smart. You now a lot, and you love to talk about a variety of subjects.

When You Are in a Social Setting:

You are very unique and talented. You solve problems well, and you have a creative approach to life.
People see you as straightforward and level headed. You can see opportunities when others only see troubles.
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